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Monday, December 31, 2007
Happy notes
Now that I expressed what has been weighing on me this last year, let me share a positive :) It took 35 years but I finally did it!!! I have a wonderful group of women friends. So wonderful I thank God everyday for them. I learn so much from each one of them.
Heather has taught me to just be me. Whether I laugh, cry, or get mad, I just need to express me. If one loves me they will except all of me. Thank you Heather. Your unconditional love has made me a better woman, wife, and mother.
MaryAnn, you have taught me strength and perserverence. Looking at you is like looking at the Statue of Liberty. You stand so tall and proud and I look at you with awe. You are amazing! Thanks for making women look good ;)
Donna, you have taught me about independence and motivation. You exemplify the human spirit of always moving forward. Your glass is always half full. I am proud to know you.
Those are my "Sex and the City" friends that I meet up with once a month come rain or shine, sleet or snow, impossible kids or grumpy husbands.
Beyond that, I have Carol who is truly like a mother to me and I love her as such. Jayne is my outspoken one who growls like a bear, but also loves and protects like a mother bear too. Elaine is the friend who is always there no matter the time, day or night. She is my rock. And recently I have come to know Amy and hopefully Terri. Two strong and courageous women.
Online I have a few friends these days. They are all my breath of fresh air! Sarah, Mona, Heidi, Alisha, and so on. Sarah and Alisha I have known since grade school. The three of us used to fight with each other and of course knew all the "cool" patty cake type songs on the planet. Those two have grown into much admired beautiful women and mothers. Kudos ladies to all your achievements!
Thank you to all these ladies and then some for being the bright spots in 2007. I love you all and may this new year bring you all the joy, health, and love that you deserve.
oxoxo,
Rein
Heather has taught me to just be me. Whether I laugh, cry, or get mad, I just need to express me. If one loves me they will except all of me. Thank you Heather. Your unconditional love has made me a better woman, wife, and mother.
MaryAnn, you have taught me strength and perserverence. Looking at you is like looking at the Statue of Liberty. You stand so tall and proud and I look at you with awe. You are amazing! Thanks for making women look good ;)
Donna, you have taught me about independence and motivation. You exemplify the human spirit of always moving forward. Your glass is always half full. I am proud to know you.
Those are my "Sex and the City" friends that I meet up with once a month come rain or shine, sleet or snow, impossible kids or grumpy husbands.
Beyond that, I have Carol who is truly like a mother to me and I love her as such. Jayne is my outspoken one who growls like a bear, but also loves and protects like a mother bear too. Elaine is the friend who is always there no matter the time, day or night. She is my rock. And recently I have come to know Amy and hopefully Terri. Two strong and courageous women.
Online I have a few friends these days. They are all my breath of fresh air! Sarah, Mona, Heidi, Alisha, and so on. Sarah and Alisha I have known since grade school. The three of us used to fight with each other and of course knew all the "cool" patty cake type songs on the planet. Those two have grown into much admired beautiful women and mothers. Kudos ladies to all your achievements!
Thank you to all these ladies and then some for being the bright spots in 2007. I love you all and may this new year bring you all the joy, health, and love that you deserve.
oxoxo,
Rein
RESOLUTIONS
Resolutions....should we make them? Seems to me we are always breaking them. At least I am. I think this year it is going to be removing things from my life that made negative impacts on me in 2007. That should be a resolution I should be able to be able to keep. Or does that seem like I am starting the new year on a black note? HMMMMM I basically just want happiness for myself and my family. So, I ask what constitutes happiness. Simply for me it is for my kids to be happy and our relationships to be good. It are those spears that are thrown from left field that attempt ill that I want to avoid. Can it be done? Do I cut ties with my siblings to avoid their misgivings? I always wanted a home with extended family, commotion, and laughter. With my in-laws in Iran, that leaves my dysfunctional lot. My mom has long passed, my dad desires solitude and is a functional alcoholic, my step mom cares but wants to be left alone, my brother I think is paranoid Schizophrenic, and my sister an alcoholic. I want my children to know their family but at the same time how I do I explain these bad decisions, sicknesses, whatever you want to call them? What is more important.....family as a whole, the good the bad the ugly or a strong small family unit? I ponder this on a daily basis. I think I spent most of 2007 on this thought process. I didn't get to choose my family growing up and there were things I would loved to have had a say in...alcoholism and my brother being two of them. Morgen is her mommy's daughter. Will she begin to think the same way? Will she rebel? I don't want the same childhood for her. I don't want my sister, who lives with us to instill those same insecurities that cause so much pain. Is my influence enough or do I cut ties? I feel constantly embattled in my brain and heart. I believe in unconditional love and to make my love conditional with these family members is a very hard decision. I just don't want to spend another year in emotional download. Here's to 2008!!!!
(My sister Rene, my brother Mark, and my nephew Brent...Rene and Brent live with me)
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