a good cry....

Have you ever just wanted to sit down and cry your heart out? That's where I am at right now. I just feel the need to let it all go. Not in a bad way, but a good one. Here's my life:
1. My typical daughter got a notice of retention. She works her butt off, I have paid thousands in tutoring and we literally work 4-5 hours a night on homework. What more can I do?
2. My son is staring off in space alot lately in class? He is autistic. Is it mini seizures? I have to call a pediatric neurologist to rule it out.
3. My son keeps biting himself. His arm looks hideous. We have worked on intervention/transference of this behavorior for the last 6 years. What more?
4. I spoke with NVLRC today for respite care. I get the run around. I need respite from my son. Not because I don't love him, but because I love him soooo much. This has been a battle for 4 years now. What can I do?
5. Takoda needs preschool. I am squeezing money from everywhere for tutoring. What can I do?
6. My brother came to my house today "normal." I know he is sick. He is homeless but seemingly normal and rational. I love him and it hurts me to see him like this. What can I do?
7. I literally have a bunch of strange men calling my home for my sister. She put her son's wii online and is chatting it up. I told her today that they have to call her cell phone. I explained that I gave her the chance with another guy and let my kids know him and poof he is gone, like all of them. I told her I don't want this around my children. My sister meets a guy and does one of two things.... sleeps with him and he is gone. .... or sleeps with him, moves in with him, then he moves out suddenly and she is homeless yet again. I don't want this around my kids, especially my daughter. I want her to be independent, not a low self esteem pathetic codependent. Harsh, but the truth. Well, she flipped her lid.
8. I watched my nephew play a shooting game with a gun for two hours straight last night. This concerns me. Hey, my sister is his mom. tell you about his self esteem?
9. My hubby is stressed out from school and I am his dumping ground. Okay, but when I go to speak, he yells at me and freaks out and says he doesn't want to hear it. I know him well enough to know it is because he feels helpless and doesn't want to acknowledge that emotion. But, there is only so much that I can take.
10. My dad is very depressed and drinking up a storm. He is the only parent I have left. My grandparents, his parents are very ill, as is my uncle, his brother. My grandma has had many heart attacks and strokes. My grandpa has cancer throughout his whole body and is shutting down. My uncle has pneumonia and is severly MR and Down's. He also weighs about 300-400 lbs.

So basically, many of my problems are about having control. I don't have control over ANY of them and I am at a loss. How do I change things, help things, make things better? WHEW.

Time to go cry.